Wardrobe Malfunction

I went shopping last weekend in the big city. I got a cute red pile, shawl collared, winter coat for $2 at a rummage sale. I checked out the clothes in a couple of stores. I got a summer bathrobe, lovely aqua color in a light, cooler fabric than my heavy winter one. I like to have them especially if we get the chance to visit one of our favorite tiny hotels in remotes places with a library where you can lounge in your bathrobe and read in the middle of night if you aren’t sleeping. The sad part is a bathrobe was the only garment I found that seemed to fit. I shopped a few weeks ago in another city closer to home too. Same dismal results. I have not quite accepted how my body shape has changed over the last five years. I finally gave up high heels a few years ago because of the pain. (See how I am, it has to hurt before I do anything about it.) Part of the trouble is I am so unfamiliar with my body I don’t know how to dress myself anymore unless elastic top jeans/pants and t-shirts are it for me. The second part is lack of choice in the stores.

I came home thinking about the physical changes. And how was it I had ignored them until I couldn't any longer. I am reminded of Aurora Greenway in Larry McMurtry’s “Evening Star” as she observes her aging body and sees head to toe crepey skin and thinks how it needs ironing. Cringe. I am now exercising about an hour three days a week to improve my breathing. I'm hoping my fat and cortisone inflated tummy will recede enough to keep my pants from squeezing me to death around the middle. Even with those possible changes the choices in the stores are poor. I purchase pants to accommodate my tummy but the seat bags and the legs are like sails in the wind. I did find one pair of pants at Macy's that fit most of me with enough lycra in them to make the waistline doable. It was the only pair they had. They don't carry them anymore. At first I thought I was just shopping in the wrong places, but no, there really aren’t many choices if you are 30+ pounds overweight and/or over 50. And many of the clothes that might fit have prints on them like my grandmother’s flour sacks that she made dresses out of for us in the 40's. Or puppies. Cute on a 6-year old. I looked around me and the other women my age here are also dressed in elastic topped knit pants and tees or sweatshirts. It’s not just me.

I slept in this morning so I should cheer up pretty soon, after I get dressed in my elastic waist jeans and sweatshirt and grumble. But the sweatshirt is a nice grass green with no birds or flowers on it, or screaming pink with birds on it. Or “I love Kitties” or “Doggies” or ... ack! Must stop, don't think about it anymore today.