Waiting

I'm not good at waiting.  Hopefully today both house inspections will show up.  Is there a fatal flaw in one of these places?  Or simply just the normal wear of older homes?  I'm trying to keep busy, packing, packing, packing.  Keeps me from totally freaking out.   What I can carry myself and know I don't need right away I take to storage.  The heavier things my son takes to storage.  What if, what if?

My family moved at least 14 times by the time I graduated from high school.  Three school districts in the first grade.  All related to my Dad's job.  Sometimes he traveled for months and we stayed with my maternal grandmother.  We had to keep our belongings on light side.  Each move something I treasured as child was gone.  The third first grade stop was in Honolulu in 1949.  All our stuff was stuck for six months in storage on a dock during a longshoremen's strike.  Some of the furniture fell apart.  Much of our clothing, books, and toys molded and had to be thrown out.  Once in Oregon we stayed in the same place for four years, that was the only time I really had friends. I graduated from our 1-8th grade school and most of my friends went on to high school together. We moved to another city and I started as freshman knowing no one.  Repeat my Sophomore year and then again a new school my Junior year in Seattle when we stayed put.  I finally had friends by my senior year.

There are parallels, mourning losses, friends and familiarity.  I've love this house.  I lived in this neighborhood 13 years and the neighbors on either side of me are good neighbors.  My best friend lives around the corner.  I'll still see them but it is a loss.  I've watched their kids grow up.  The one to the south has three girls the ages of my younger granddaughters.  They all play together here at my house.  I will miss that.  Condo living doesn't nuture kids running through the yard.   On the other hand if the condo deal goes through there is a pool there, and grandkids are welcome.

It was dark when I got up and I went out on the deck and looked at the millions of stars in the sky.  Just beautiful.  I am trying to see this as an adventure but I was better at physical adventures than I am at emotional adventures.  Time to learn some new skills.  All our lives the changes never stop even if you ignore them.  Its no different as we age.  This move is necessary and hopefully it will mean I won't have to do this again at 80, God willing and the river don't rise.