Loss
I'm sitting at my dining room table drinking my third cup of coffee and still reluctant to get out and get going this morning. I need pecan pie ingredients and some other groceries. It's a balmy 27°F, rumored to be 30° later but the fog is gone along with the ice. My last annual patio flower has shriveled up just two little red blooms hanging on.
My only girl cousin Terry died Friday night; she was 68. She was treated for ovarian cancer a few years ago and we actually thought she might have beaten it. If anyone could it was her. As it was she lived much longer and better than anyone could have imagined. Then the cancer returned elsewhere in her body and with treatment she continued on, "Trying to stay alive everyday." she said. She was still running last year, working hard. A couple of weeks ago she completed another round of chemo and returned home saying she was tired and ready to go. We have lost her loving smile and good heart. She was a wonderful, caring person, a teacher, coach, and counselor who left behind many grieving students as well as her husband, son, and all the rest of us.
I think my sadness for Terry has morphed into some anxiety for my for my sister and her husband who are driving up the Columbia Gorge from Portland to spend Thanksgiving with me. I'm indulging in a lot of weather watching. It's nice drive unless it freezes up and poops snows on you. Then it can be the badmamajammer of roads. After getting an all clear weather report I've been ambushed on I-84 by mother nature after Cascade Locks (the low pass through the Cascades) and thought I should get off the road but afraid if I tried I'd get stuck or slide off like so many I'd passed so I white knuckled it on through. Danged stuff freezes into rutted slag on the road. Pretty though.
I think I'll get in the shower and cry and let my fears and some of the sadness wash down the drain.
Love and hugs to all this Thanksgiving.
My only girl cousin Terry died Friday night; she was 68. She was treated for ovarian cancer a few years ago and we actually thought she might have beaten it. If anyone could it was her. As it was she lived much longer and better than anyone could have imagined. Then the cancer returned elsewhere in her body and with treatment she continued on, "Trying to stay alive everyday." she said. She was still running last year, working hard. A couple of weeks ago she completed another round of chemo and returned home saying she was tired and ready to go. We have lost her loving smile and good heart. She was a wonderful, caring person, a teacher, coach, and counselor who left behind many grieving students as well as her husband, son, and all the rest of us.
I think my sadness for Terry has morphed into some anxiety for my for my sister and her husband who are driving up the Columbia Gorge from Portland to spend Thanksgiving with me. I'm indulging in a lot of weather watching. It's nice drive unless it freezes up and poops snows on you. Then it can be the badmamajammer of roads. After getting an all clear weather report I've been ambushed on I-84 by mother nature after Cascade Locks (the low pass through the Cascades) and thought I should get off the road but afraid if I tried I'd get stuck or slide off like so many I'd passed so I white knuckled it on through. Danged stuff freezes into rutted slag on the road. Pretty though.
I think I'll get in the shower and cry and let my fears and some of the sadness wash down the drain.
Love and hugs to all this Thanksgiving.
Snow falling on cedars, and firs, and everything else on I-84. Photo credit The Oregonian
posted by Celia | November 23, 2015
12 Comments:
So sorry for your loss. It is hard when we have to let go of those we love.
Be careful out & about, ice can be terrible nasty stuff. BTDT.
Hope there are better days ahead, hug your family close.
Thanks Brighid.
I am so sorry to hear of this sad loss. Your cousin wasn't very old, was she? Life can be a bummer. Cancer takes too many people away.
Hope the weather is good enough for the journey.
Luv & hugs.......
Maggie x
Storms come at the worst times. I am sorry for your loss. It is a release for her but you have the loss of what was always there :(
Rain - thank you. The sun is out and it is clear today all the way up the Gorge.
Maggie - Thank you and I am sorry for yours as well. She was 68, six years younger than myself. The weather has cleared today, except for right around town here, the roads are slick but this is a very flat little town, Walla Walla.
Thank you so very much for sharing this very sad loss with us. She has a brilliant smile, and you will miss her dearly.
This was a hard post to read, Celia, but I am very glad you wrote it. Loss is part of life, and the hardest part by far. Your cousin looked like a bright light, and one this poor world will miss.
As you know, this time of year is a time of grief for many of us who lost someone dear. And yet we give thanks, to have had them in our lives, to have known them and loved them. I would rather have this pain than not having had my son, and I know you feel the same about your cousin. Sending you a good, long hug, my friend, across these winter miles.
Thanks for your thoughts Mage.
Got your hug Granny Sue, and yes, so glad we had them while we could. Hugs back to you.
so sorry to read about your sweet cousin. My deepest sympathies to all the family.
So sorry for your loss, Celia. I have not read blogs in such a long time. FB seems to have taken over the time I once spent reading blogs. It is especially hard to say Goodbye when those who are leaving us are relatively young. I hope you had a nice visit with your family, and the support of friends and family have brought comfort. Hugs are sent your way.
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