Who? What?
"You know," my friend Nancy says, "that woman that sat next to you when we worked together." No, I didn't, I could still see her face and hear her voice but her name has totally escaped me as has the name of the first boy I kissed in high school. His face is blurrier, maybe because that was in the dark. Nancy and I visit by phone 2-3 times a week. At least once a week she asks me why I moved so far away. She hasn't forgotten, she's complaining. I'm appreciative that it matters.
This came up because I talked books with my sister this morning who is also a voracious reader. I was telling her what I was reading and couldn't remember the author's name. I just finished reading"Pachinko" by Min Jin Lee, excellent and remembered her name. I am plowing through "X" by Sue Grafton, but couldn't remember her name. Ack.
Nancy and I have been friends for around 30 years. We took our first trip to Alaska together. we visited La Connor, WA in December each year to Christmas shop. I have several pairs of nice fish-shaped earrings (I'm a Pisces and the child of a fisheries biologist) I gifted myself over several of those visits. We sighed in relief together when our eldest children graduated from high school. Little did we know. We both have heads full of assorted trivia. Before smart phones we were the people that others came to ask "What was..." This year both of us seems to have lost a a portion of that.
"as if, one by one, the memories you used to harbor
decided to retire to the southern hemisphere of the brain...
No wonder you rise in the middle of the night
to look up the date of a famous battle in a book on war.
No wonder the moon in the window seems to have drifted
out of a love poem that you used to know by heart."
Billy Collins
My father who had nearly total recall and could remember whole pages of books he had read and the page number, was stricken because he thought his memory was going. None of us could tell but now I know its more personal than that. We know what we have forgotten even if it doesn't show. I guess if no one else notices how bad can it be?
This came up because I talked books with my sister this morning who is also a voracious reader. I was telling her what I was reading and couldn't remember the author's name. I just finished reading"Pachinko" by Min Jin Lee, excellent and remembered her name. I am plowing through "X" by Sue Grafton, but couldn't remember her name. Ack.
Nancy and I have been friends for around 30 years. We took our first trip to Alaska together. we visited La Connor, WA in December each year to Christmas shop. I have several pairs of nice fish-shaped earrings (I'm a Pisces and the child of a fisheries biologist) I gifted myself over several of those visits. We sighed in relief together when our eldest children graduated from high school. Little did we know. We both have heads full of assorted trivia. Before smart phones we were the people that others came to ask "What was..." This year both of us seems to have lost a a portion of that.
"as if, one by one, the memories you used to harbor
decided to retire to the southern hemisphere of the brain...
No wonder you rise in the middle of the night
to look up the date of a famous battle in a book on war.
No wonder the moon in the window seems to have drifted
out of a love poem that you used to know by heart."
Billy Collins
My father who had nearly total recall and could remember whole pages of books he had read and the page number, was stricken because he thought his memory was going. None of us could tell but now I know its more personal than that. We know what we have forgotten even if it doesn't show. I guess if no one else notices how bad can it be?
posted by Celia | September 23, 2017
7 Comments:
My husband and I are going through the same, Celia. Each year into this journey brings new deficits. Adjusting is hard. I wonder does one get to the point when one doesn't care any more?
A friend of mine had total recall, which she abruptly lost in her early 70s. This was a disaster, because she had none of the strategies us mere mortals develop to deal with deficient memories. She had to learn to write things down, etc.
My memory is quite selective! Above all, I'm very good at not remembering things I'm ashamed of!
I love that area of the Northwest, too, something really special about it. La Conner is one of my favorites.
My Dad was like yours, he could recall the names and addresses of long gone friends, roads, flight patterns, phone numbers from long ago, and recent times as well. I did not get that gene and can barely remember my own name much less anyone else's. My kids have great memory retention (they are catching on that I don't), so it must have skipped a generation.
Yes, my husband and I frequently play the game of memory and hours later one of us comes up with what our brain was searching for! I do not like it one bit. But I will age as gracefully as possible.
I'm at the hours later stage. Sometimes it is only a very long pause later. I'm grateful that I remember.
Yes...... I get that too. It's very annoying and somewhat worrying!!
Maggie x
My husband does. This is a truly valuable entry that touches us all.
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